i awoke to the sound of whispering & quiet talking just outside my door. i had gone to bed about 1/2 hr earlier because i was so darn tired last nite by like 12. anyways, i didn't think much of it & decided to just keep sleeping.

10.00am. finally wake up from an awesome 10hrs of sleep. wOOt...best i've gotten since i came back to ktown. open the door to go brush my teeth and WHAM! on my door were like 10 billion msgs....well not 10 billion..but u get the picture. i dunno who did this for me, but THANK YOU!! it was so nice & encouraging!! when i hunt you down...i'm gonna bury you in hugs.

it said this: "my grace is sufficient for you. for my power is made perfect in weakness" (2 Corinthians 12:9)

coming back from christmas break, i expected it to be crazy....and busy....but still, i think i undermined a lot of things. like....how crazy weather is. how blizzards + wind + much snow = chaos + pain and more pain. i swear, my hands literally hurt on saturday...
it's only like what, the third week of school since christmas break, but i'm already getting so freakin tired...so so tired...from i dun even know what. my gosh, so much to do, so much to do....yet so little time. and so little faith.

i miss the way i used to believe without a doubt. how i knew for sure that it was all not in my own power...but it's strange how more & more experience does things to you...well at least for me. so much i need to let go of, so much prayer to pray, so much belief to develop, so much learning to do from the faith of a child.

i think i'm already going insane.
who ever thought that... my first week back would be the longest week of my life. so tiring...i'm already drained from 1 week of school.

who ever thought that... house hunting is a pain. it's so hard to find something good. i wonder if it will all be worth it in the end.

who ever thought that... i would never stay on top of the ball, but that it is one continuous cycle where the ball is always on top of me. gosh, it hurts. i wanna be ON the ball for once.

who ever thought that... winter reallie is cold. i never reallie felt it until i came here...b/c back at home, you would never go for 20 min walks or have to put up with bitter winds until your face hurts. better stop complaining...apparently it gets tons worse.

who ever thought that... worship is the most beautiful thing ever. seems so ironic doesn't it? to bow down & praise someone else that is so much more worthy than i am. i heard the most beautiful sounds last night. it was like a child's longing for a father to come. a place of realization. like angels glorifying their king.

who ever thought that... motivation is the most important thing and the greatest thing i lack.

day one.
the beginning of the 40 days of purpose, as my mom likes to call it. and the purpose is to study, work hard & do well. 40 days until reading week, so until then, I am to work work & work. and seriously, this time I HAVE to work. no more goofing off...or don't feel like working....must must work. no excuses.
goals for this term include:
- doing 3 hrs of school work a day (stauffer, you will become my new best friend! haha)
- going to the gym 3 times a week
- read for 15 min a day
- at the end of the week, must finish the week's assigned work. no putting off till midterms/exams
- play only on weekend nights
- no sleeping past 1am even when i have late class the next day. & if i have an 8:30, must sleep by 11:30

maybe this seems so out of the world or un-do-able, but we'll see..i hope this works out....

well...i set out to renovate my blog and only ended up realizing that i luv it just the way it is...lol, except that it needed a final touch. so me, still being on christmas break (i know some of you are probably gonna beat me reallie soon) decided to have some photoshop fun! i'm still trying to regain my artistic skills that i lost many years ago...

so i came up with the name, "art in the making" b/c that is, in essence what i am. with each new experience, w/every new day, i am being made more and more into who i am supposed to be. we are all a bit like photo paper. the artist exposes it to specific quantities of light to create a photograph in the dark room. but after the artist has done so, the photo paper still looks as it did before. blank. empty. seemingly potential-less. yet, it holds an unseen photograph...perhaps the most beautiful photograph in the world, but no one will ever know that unless the artist puts it through the developer.

as the paper is put in the solution, a hint of an image begins to appear, and slowly, the image becomes darker & darker; more & more beautiful. timing is crucial. the photo paper can only be left in the developer a certain amount of time before the image is darked & destroyed.

not only so, when the photo is as the artist desires, it is put in the stop bath, hence stoping all of the developers actions. fixer & hypo-eliminator are then used respectively to ensure the image stays on the paper for good.

like this piece of photopaper, we are all art in the making.

well...i think i'm in due for an update. not that there really is anything to say, but i'll try.
ok...here goes. life during christmas break is the total opposite of my queens life. what i mean by that is, life is so relaxing. i love waking up in the morning and thinking, "what do i have to do today?....absolutely nothin!!" man...that never ceases to make my day & encourage more sleeping....i am such a log. nothing can pry me off my bed @ 10:30 in the morning...lol. just kiddin, i'm not that bad.

oh!! u know what else rocks? the fact that EVEYRYONE else is in school & I'M NOT!!! haha....u see, my sister is watching me type...& rite now is freaking out...by freaking out i mean screaming & moaning & erw.kxMl;kasjdfl;jfdl;jadjdlj....yeah, erm...u get the pt....

there's only one thing that's missing...i said i was going to master snowboarding during christmas break, but so far, i haven't had a chance to go....AHH!! i wanna go!!!

ok...enough venting about useless info of my boring life. l8r.