if i traded it all, if i gave it all away for one thing, just for one thing
if i sorted it out, if i knew all about this one thing, wouldn't that be something
finger 11::one thing

if there was one thing that i desire, one thing that i seek, one thing that i should long for, it would be to never be satisfied with what i have now. to continue running after the treasure that is worth more than gold, to be like the man who sold everything he had when he found a pearl that was worth so much more.

now that i think of it, i find that i always write a blog entry after i get back from T.O. and it always goes something like: home was fun, and queen's and home are two separate worlds. and yes, i could go on about that...and i guess it's somehting that's consistent w/all my experiences at home, but each one has been unique and i'm sorry for not really expressing that in my entries. so here goes, all the random stuff about this weekend:

+homecooked mommy food is always good, which i miss so incredibly already...
+frustration can really make you emotional and that usually leads to unecessary bickering and more frustration
+quality sleep leads to "dis-quality" functioning throughout the day...as much as that makes no sense, it happens to me everytime i go home
+scarborough town is full of sketchy surprises. i have never ran into so many ppl in my life
+i went to the shortest baptismal service today. 1 hr 20 min. watching like 51 ppl getting dunked in a pool is kinda funny after awhile.
+many laughs, many faces i haven't seen in so long -- thanks for all the great times. but too little work was done. now i face my inevitable fate of no sleep in attempts to finish.
+now comes all the shoutouts. haha, i don't usually do this, but today's special -- a special day to say thanks.
-lizzy i miss talking to you so much. we always have so much fun. and malt bubble tea is so good! i can't believe i didn't discover it until u told me. thanks gurl.
-jim! "uh huh...yup...ok...uh huh [nods head vigorously]" -- you never cease to make me laugh; i miss all those crazy/random/stupid times! you need to talk to me more!
-terence -- you're a bum for not coming! especially since u gave me ur word.
-chau -- my heart is broken. and i'm really not happy.
-amez -- i wish i could talk to you how i used to.
-sis -- i'm proud of you.

if you were to ask me how i'm doing RIGHT now, i would answer somewhere along the lines of...
-tired & wanting to collapse on my bed
-waiting and frustrated
-about the explode due to the mounds of food consumed in the past 5 hours

such a nice day today...first day since like what? last year that i could go outside in just a hoodie? haha...such a nice feelin to know that summer is coming....soon...>>

i was in such a great mood until i prayed with my pad girls today. it was like as soon as we spoke, a ton of bricks came tumbling down on me. i don't know how or why this has come to be, all i know is that there's this bug crawling around inside of me that makes me so uncomfortable. all the things i want, i cannot have...and all the things i do not want fails to leave me alone. or maybe it's the fact that i wanna leave it alone but i don't at the same time. it's so hard to explain. which is so weird b/c i can usually put some sort of thought into words. argh, this is killing me. i wish it would go away -- this depressing feeling that burdens every single part of me. don't know how much longer i can put up with this...i wish that i could have peace.

it's been awhile...so for all you faithful michka blog readers...this one's for you.

i can't believe so much can change in such a short period of time. so many convictions, dreams, visions...so much change. i feel so way over my head.

i can't belive that my first year is almost over. ALMOST. 3 weeks of schol, 2 weeks of exams and i'm done. whatever happened to my frosh year? i wanna stay a froshie forever! i mean, who doesn't like special treatment and free dinners?

i can't believe how old i'm getting. you know you're old when you can sit and talk for hours about the past year and reminise.

i can't believe how lucky/blessed/thankful/jumping up and down for joy and screaming my head off about everything right now. all the little things really mattered and i treasure them, and hold them close to my heart. i never would have imagined that university could be so ammmaaazzziiinnnggg...

i can't believe how much you play here. and i really can't believe how fruity all my guy friends are. yes...you are all very in touch w/ur feminine side...but i luv u guys regardless.

i can't believe how beautiful kingston is becoming. sunny days, warmer weather...wait. i shouldn't speak so soon. i might jinx it. as i have always done in the past.

i can't believe that it is humanly possible to sing for 5 hours straight. and that voices are powerful and 4-5 voices together are enough to penetrate an apartment building.

i can't believe how funny "wax on [does swiping motion w/hands] wax off [does swiping motion w/hands in opposite direction]" is. especially when you start to create variations of the swiping motions....//

oh man...i can't believe how incredibly tired i am right now.

AH! life is a never ending battle to stay on top of things and doing upon doing. the reading week i hoped i would have...filled w/tons of time w/friends, family & just chill & fun times never really happened. i mean, sure i had tons of fun...but it was all so limited b/c of the midterms i had to write this past week.

suprisingly, midterms went well. nothing unexpected...and i studied the right stuff. which seems crazy b/c every time i write an exam i always find that there was something i overlooked or didn't study enough for....once again, HUGE blessings.

and after exams comes the big breath before taking up many tasks again -- which is exactly what this weekend was. i didn't do anything crazy or new, but nothing compares to quality time with friends. it's always the little things you do together, whether it be sharing a meal or laughing over the stupidest things that makes life enjoyable. it was just so nice to experience such a laid back, relaxing weekend after months of crazyness...>>

i found the answer to something that i've been looking for for a long time. for a long time, i questioned whether i should do missions this summer...i always dreamed of going after 1st year at university, but the conviction was kinda wishy-washy. but now i know that for sure i'm called to go. all the quiet whispers point in the same direction -- to go.