what day is it and in what month this clock never seemed so alive
I can't keep up and I can't back down I've been losing so much time...

Cause it's you and me and all of the people
nothing to do, nothing to lose
and it's you and me and all of the people and i don't know why I can't keep my eyes off of you

All of the things that i want to say just aren't coming out right
I'm tripping on words, you got my head spinning i don't know where to go from here...
__________
lifehouse::you and me

god is good. and his love endures forever. i cannot deny the fact that he is faithful.
with each day comes new struggles, new challenges. orgo is taking more than i thought it would. it's so draining, there is never one day where i can sleep like 6-7 hours and STILL not feel so freaking tired. so tired already. and i'm only half way through.
but...i there's a lot to be learned & a lot to be experienced. for example, i learned that sleeping in is NOT a good thing. and being late for class even for 5 min means u miss a whole ton of stuff. not only that, but u tend to trip over a whole ton of things & pk in front of ppl. so sleeping early saves ur butt. solution to sleeping in class? sit in the front row right in front of the prof so u're forced to pay attention & learn. key is to learn in class. or else i'm so screwed. tired of studying? study more. study until you collapse. not disciplined? fail a midterm & i'm sure that'll give u incentive. so in short, listen to all those ppl that ever told you to stay on top of things.

it's the night before the midterm...and what am i doing? yeah, procrastinating...

argh...why is it that the more i need to study, the more i don't want to and the more i put it off? i'm such a last minute person. and speaking of last minute....i was rushing to class today and almost pk'd 4 times in mac-corry....4 FREAKIN times in the span of 1 short hallway...well..not that short..but u get the point. so embarrasing...the guy behind me must have thought that i was drunk or something at like 9am. lol.

so we finally got ONE phone jack to work. and guess where it is? in the basement. yeah. it's been almost 3 weeks, and the phone only started working yesterday. boo-erns. the internet modem has been sitting there in grace's room, waiting patiently for 2 weeks now. and now that a phone jack is usable, still can't get sympatico set up b/c i don't have like 100000000000ft internet cables. ok. i think i've said enough.

back to studying. orgoorgoorgoorgoorgoorgoorgoorgoorgo....

i go day to day, going through the same notions, doing the same things. yet each day astounds me with blessings. each day, a new chance to enjoy His presence and marvel at creation. and as the days slowly count down till i go to china/mongolia, the passion grows stronger and stronger. it's almost as if i'm already there, i can see faces, feel the need and the pain. and i hope that each day this bug inside of me would never go away, that i would never forget what it's like to live in pain and the extent to which i have come from.

sometimes i wish i could use my head. i wish i had the ability to be able to think rationally rather than to act upon my irrational instincts. and because of that, i must pay the cost dearly.

if only i could live the way i want to. maybe i expected too much out of myself, or perhaps i strived for too little. all i know is that i hunger and thirst for change.

it's been awhile since my last blog...b/c i have no internet in kingston, so i've basically been a big mooch and takin my laptop everywhere to steal wireless signals so i can download notes for class and all the tutorials and blah blah blah...yeah..i guess i gotta stop learnin how to be a big nerd. lol.

so now that i'm home, i'm a happy girl cuz there's internet. gosh, we depend on it so much.
anyways...back to the whole point of this blog.

so today was quite an interesting day. i got up around 8ish, showered, ate, went out to warren's grandma's funeral. so many ppl. twas quite crazy...there were so many ppl that a lot of us had to sit in another chapel and we didn't even getta pay respects to the family when we were at the chapel. so even tho i couldn't go to the cemetary, we waited outside for warren to come out so that we could at least say hi to him. but this funeral was so unique. it was so different to all the ones i've even been to before. maybe i'm taking this out of context, but i was so encouraged by it. there is no better testimony than at the end of your life to have those around you say that your life was lived well, your purpose was fulfilled and that God's grace and presence was with you until the end. i hope that the day i die, that ppl could say that i served Christ until the end.

so then after that, i drove heidi to mitchells, and i ended up going INTO mitchells. rule 1. never go into mitchells if i have no money. so we went, i wanted to pick up the new United Live CD b/c i was listenin to samples of it last nite online...sounded good, like all their stuff. so went to get that. it's so pricy. but worth it. $21.99 + tax. comes to like 25. THEN....i have this thing now where i'm trying to read more. good books by good authors never cease to challenge me. so me, fully aware of the fact that i cannot afford to spend more money, decided to look anyways. i was gonna get 2 books, but heidi convinced me to just quickly read one of them (b/c it's small relatively), so i sat there at the big couch in front of the bathrooms - reading.

got home. ate. worked. dad came home from montreal. *droolin madly* with smoked meat from Schwartz. oh gosh. can't wait to eat it tmw....there should be a rule that everyone that goes to montreal has to go there.

then went out to dinner at fmp. so we're almost there, on some sidestreet close to fmp, and my dad stops for a stop sign. there are obviously no cars around, and he starts honking. no ppl either. me & my sister are like, "what????" [mad confusion]. he makes a turn, and we look back, and all we see is this canada goose slowly waddling across the street. it was the funniest sight i have ever seen. it moved it's butt in motion with every step it took, slowly. ah, unforgetable.

after dinner, went to loblaws to pick up some stuff. i found more drawers! that i desperately need for my room in kingston b/c the ones i have rite now are stuffed to the full with overflowing clothes. bought some strawberries. went home, decided we wanted to eat the strawberries. so in attemtps to de-princess my sister, i ordered her around and ate the strawberries she just finished washing/taking the stems off of while she was still workin on them. man, i can be so mean when i want to. lol. but it was all jokes...so it's all good. mutual meaness. oh wait. i almost forgot to say that i annoyed her with oldschool annoying songs in the car while drivin home from loblaws. like hanson & the moffats. oohhh and jeremiah was a bullfrog. btw..i can't sing for crap, so yup, i definately got my full share of bothering her tonite.

oh man, there is so much i miss about home. if you're reading this and so freakin pissed off that i didn't tell you that i came home this wkend and didn't chill/talk to you - i promise we'll have time later when i finish orgo! it's only 1st wk and i can't keep up b/c i get so darn distracted when i try to work. by everything, like the internet since i don't have it in kingston. alrite...gonna call it a nite. church tmw. i hope u enjoyed reading about my odd day.