These have got to be the cocky-est birds i have ever met. Like, look at it. Thinks it owns the pond. Head lifted high, too busy showing off its brilliant stature to pay attention to anything else. Honestly, these birds think they own the planet. Like last week, I saw them strutting (literally) across a 404 entrance ramp. Cars had to stop for them. What bird in their right non-cocky mind would think to cross a busy street like that? Or yesterday, when I was waiting for the bus to come, I saw one snarling at another one. If it was supposed to be some sort of mating ritual (since it is spring) to growl like that, it ain't a pretty one. In my opinion, it was rather unattractive. But then again, I'm not a bird...but maybe some female goose finds it a huge turn on? Anyway, enough of that. Oh, back to what I was saying before....so today I saw 3 of them strutting in a line as if it was some sort of follow the leader, wiggling their tails in the exact same way, walking with a strut in sync, heads held high, necks straight...again walking on a main road. What the heck? Who do these birds think they are???

so it's my first day commuting during rush hour. i guess now i know the consequences of living "far away"...oh my gosh. i don't know how ppl live so friggin far away from downtown yet commute like 3 hours a day. ok fine, i'm exaggerating. but it took a total of 1 hr 45 min to get from my house to college & yonge. and i was lucky today too, b/c my mom drove me all the way to finch. and that took an hour in itself (compared to 1/2 hr normally during non-rush hours). i wonder how long it'll take if she can't drive me part way and i have to bus it all the way. even the thought of it is depressing.

but, knowing that the long bus & subway rides would suck the life right out of me, i decided to bring a book with me.

"We have been too blind to see, or too timid to speak out, or too self-satisfied to desire anything better than the poor, average diet with which others appear satisfied...we have accepted one another's notions, copied one another's lives and made one another's expereinces the model for our own...Now we have reached a low place of sand and burnt wire grass, and worst of all, we have made the Word of Truth conform to our experience and accepted this low plane as the very pasture of the blessed." (A.W. Tozer, The Pursuit of God)

I have never read a book where it just seems like the author takes my jumbed thoughts and organizes them into elegant, coherent sentences.

I've always wondered why we never want more...why we settle for defeated lives. If he bible is absolute truth, then it is true yesterday, today and tomorrow. which means that we can know Christ as intimately as the apostles did. If we are living here, now, where we are for a reason, then why don't we seek it out?

isn't it funny how we complain, get frustrated and pull our hair out when we go through crap, but when we pull through afterwards we have no regrets but only thankfulness for having gone through the situation.

i close my eyes, and as i let the memories of this year overtake my mind all i can tell you is that the picture i see is absolutely beautiful...there is no other way to explain it, even in the midst of all the struggles, it was all absolutely beautiful.

so here's a look into the life of michelle at Queen's University in 2005-2006 as a life sciences student who really doesn't deserve to be in the program but is too lazy to change programs.
and by shouldn't be in this program i mean someone who studies maybe 1/10 of the amount normal life sci med-school keeners do. which would probably explain why exams owned me...
anyway, moving on to more important things...

i remember coming in to this year not knowing what the heck to expect, both in terms of serving in KCCF as a cell group leader and in terms of school. after many upper years hounding it into my mind that 2nd year is so much harder than first year....and the fact that i would be learning all new stuff...i guess sometimes i just can't help it but let it get to my head. which can expalin in part my sad attempt to do orgo in 6 weeks........but that's another story.

i remember wondering what it means to open up to people...share with them...meet them where they're at. but this wonder became a reality through the gift of the most amazing friends in the world.

i remember being so unsure of where God was leading me this year, and kind of just blindly doing things until they seemed "wrong" ...or burning out.

i remember coming in wondering what it means to sacrifice only to be immediately forced to learn what this hard hard lesson.

i remember all the times i met up with people and was so touched by their stories and the testimonies they carry. every single one of those incidences changed me and brought me one step closer to my Saviour.

i remember the late night talks, how screwed i was the next day because of it, but how worth it was at the same time.

i remember all the mad cramming i had to do because...i always neglected to use my time wisely & do things when I'm supposed to....

i remember the cell group bibletudies/prayermeetings/dinners/funfillednights...
magmanians - u guys are amazing. you've touched my life in ways you'll never know.

i remember all the prayers that left me speechless and all the prayers that left me unsatisfied and yearning for more.

but most of all i remember the lives that were touched, the drastic and gradual changes, the witness I can attest to that God is good. And what an honour it has been to see, hear, and experience these things. I can say that i'm no longer the same person because of the tremendous amount of stuff i've gone through this year...the old has gone, the new has come. and the new is so much better than the old that there is no way that what i have now can revert back to what was before.